God Sees Rapture Chaos, Grabs Popcorn
Millions of Raptured Souls Stuck in Drone Traffic; FAA Classifies Raptured Christians as “Unmanned Aerial Vehicles”
Poll: 70% of Americans Think ‘Iran Strike’ Is a New Netflix Show
“Iran Strike? Is that the one with the spies or the zombies?” asked one respondent from Ohio. Another, from Florida, said, “I think I
Breaking: UN Expresses Concern, War Continues Unimpressed
Missiles ignore strongly worded statements, as usual.
California Economy Grinds to Halt After Feds Remove the People Willing to Do Stuff
ICE Agents Baffled by LA’s Cultural Diversity & the Rioting Citizens Able to Skip Work to Defend It
City of L.A.: CLICK HERE to Accept You Live in a Declining Utopia
Officials say panic buttons will help remedy everything from "meth enthusiasts" to "esthetician ambushes."
The Real Housewives of Riyadh: Trump’s Turn as America’s Ditz-in-Chief
The Pretty Girl and the Prince: America’s Carnival of Freebies and Foolery
What Would You NOT Do for Money: Kink, Murder, Weight Gain
Fetishes and felonies are the unofficially preferred extreme hustles.
Listen, if you’re patting yourself on the back for not romancing a public transit corpse, aim higher, sweetheart.
Be honest, when you see a dead body do you think 'RIP' or 'DTF?'
Sex, Love, & Money — How to Get Fucked Three Ways (The White Lotus, Season Two)
Emotional manipulation is the ultimate power move. Moral bankruptcy is part of the all-inclusive package.
Today I’m Grateful I Don’t Want to Make Love to a Corpse on the R Train (And Other Low Bars)
The real public transit crisis isn't delays - it's witnessing a guy give in to necrophiliac compulsion on your nighttime commute.
BREAKING: Joe Rogan Celebrates the Grand Return of “Retard” — A Heartwarming Salute to His People
Rogan's embrace of 'retard' creates poetic symmetry
BREAKING NEWS: US & China’s Bloated Oligarchs Play “Hunger Games: Open Market Edition”
In this thrilling season of 'Oligarchs Gone Wild,' tariffs are up, wages are down, the working class are 'expendable extras.'
