CDC Classifies ‘Dreams of Homeownership’ as a Tier-1 Pandemic-Level Delusion
What do you get when you cross an American dream delirium with late stage capitalism? A government issue polo mallet to the head.
New Fed Policy: No Lube, Just ‘Forward Guidance’
What's the difference between the Federal Reserve and a leather daddy in North Hollywood? The leather daddy stops when you say 'pineapple.'
These are your feet!
What do you call a patriot who can't afford gas and isn't t even epically furious? A pedestrian.
Exclusive: Leaked Memo Reveals Government’s ‘Project Squirrel Scramble’
Meet the federal strategy to keep you darting and spinning across asphalt while cronies race gold-filled U-Hauls out the White House back door.
Study Finds R.A.T.S.: ‘Reluctant Admission Trauma Syndrome’ Spiking With Trump Wins
Thinking Nationals Diagnosed With Stress Disorder As Trump Has Alarming Run of Apparently Decent Outcomes
Apocalypse Hits; Trump Buys Naming Rights
The End of Days, Sponsored by Trump International Resorts: Rooms Still Available!
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